I keep telling myself I'll post more often, but the lack of anything in my life that is remotely important in the grand scheme of things or worthy of sharing is painfully obvious. Hmmm... isn't that why we post in the first place? The need to find just one person who finds interest in us and our stories has created an ever-expanding online library of voices wanting to be heard...disconnected in a seemingly connected world.
Recent experiences and observations:
- Cool and refreshing night air swirled through my truck, and "Linger" by The Cranberries blared as I sang along at the top of my lungs. It felt as if everything was exactly right, and it left my senses tingling. Those few minutes were truly a highlight. One of my guilty pleasures is dancing with myself in the kitchen to that song. It's not the lyrics that hooked me (I don't even know all of them,) but rather the sweeping, graceful, energetic music...the largeness of it.
"...do you have to, do you have to let it linger..."
(Excuse me, but I have to play it now and dance for a few minutes.)
- A spontaneous talk with my students about bullying became one of healing for me. I told of the 3 levels I had experienced - victim, bystander, and bully. I ended up crying as I shared, and wanted to stop talking, but I knew that the raw personal glimpse of how my life had been affected would resonate with them more than a cut/dry chat ever could. The discussion was real, with their input as well as mine. I hope they never forget it. I won't.
- A few days after sharing part of my soul with the class, a student gave me a sign that it had made a difference to her. As an assignment for another class, she said she had to write about a hero, and she wrote about me. I'm fighting tears now just thinking about it. To the kids, I make a difference. I want to read it...need to read it.
- At a school event, I ran into the now-retired president of the college from which I had graduated. We chatted for a bit, and I thanked her and her staff for recognizing in me that which so few see. They made a difference
- I spent several days eating lunch by myself...again.
- Trees were on sale, so I bought five on the way home from work Friday. Then I had to buy dirt. Sounds ridiculous to have to buy dirt, but I justify it by reminding myself it's healthy dirt so that the trees will thrive in this barren post-apocalyptic wasteland. I felt empowered with the sense that I was going to do something positive, and with something alive. I loaded them at the store and then unloaded at home, and I actually looked forward to digging and planting. Unfortunately, the sun set, and I've slept since then. Two days later, the trees are still in their buckets waiting for me to get off of my ass and dig the holes. Nearby are the shrubs that have been in buckets for over a year.
- I hate it when my Wii Fit Plus whines "Ohhh" when I step on it. Not very encouraging.
- "Remember the Titans" happened to be on as I channel-surfed looking for something to soothe me into nap time. I picked it up about 20 min into it, but thank heavens it was a marathon, so I was able to watch the beginning after the end. When a movie is that good, it doesn't matter. I skipped a nap to watch it for the umpteenth time. There are only a few movies that get me like that, but more about that another time.
- Just turned on my heat for the first time this year. The burnt dust smell always makes me nervous.
- I have 2 followers, one of which is me.
Pretty sad that of the last 11 days, these are the only things I can think of to write about. The reality of it is that I'm actually writing about me...what makes me tick, or what makes me feel like I'm not ticking at all.
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